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Perl: The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption. (Keith Bostic)

Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk. (Jan Steinman)

Consistently separating words by spaces became a general custom about the tenth century A.D., and lasted until about 1957, when FORTRAN abandoned the practice. (Sun FORTRAN Reference Manual)

C is often described, with a mixture of fondness and disdain varying according to the speaker, as "a language that combines all the elegance and power of assembly language with all the readability and maintainability of assembly language." (MIT Jargon Dictionary)

If C++ has taught me one thing, it's this: Just because the system is consistent doesn't mean it's not the work of Satan. (Andrew Plotkin)

Anyone could learn Lisp in one day, except that if they already knew Fortran, it would take three days. (Marvin Minsky)

APL is a write-only language. I can write programs in APL, but I can't read any of them. (Roy Keir)

Visual Basic is a poor imitation of an object system for a poor imitation of a programming language that poor imitations of programmers use to write poor imitations of programs for poor imitations of employers who pay poor imitations of programmers' salaries. (Jim H Jacobs)

If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution. (Robert Sewell)

Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++. (Frank Winkler)

Thou shall not follow the NULL pointer, for chaos and madness await thee at its end. (Henry Spencer)

One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs. (Robert Firth)

I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind. (Alan Kay)